Reviews of Donna Ferber's Books

A Review of Donna's Book...

by Patricia F. D’Ascoli, Connecticut Muse A Celebration of Contemporary Connecticut Authors Issue 5, Spring 2006. Reprinted with permission*.

Book Cover Studies show that the divorce rate is going up in Connecticut and elsewhere. Why are more people getting divorced these days? According to Farmington psychotherapist, Donna Ferber, it’s not necessarily due to the fact that marriages are worse, but because there is more freedom to leave bad marriages, and women have more opportunities now than ever before.

Although divorce may be more frequent, it continues to be an extremely difficult time for women in particular. Over the years, Ferber has counseled numerous women going through divorce in both individual and group therapy, and as a result of her twenty plus years of experience, she has written a book especially for divorcing women entitled From Ex-wife to Exceptional Life™: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce.

From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life™is a wonderful resource for women to utilize during an emotionally draining time – a time when Ferber notes that it is easy for women to become over-whelmed, especially at the prospect of having to read and process a great deal of information (often the case with typical self-help divorce books). Ferber’s book, on the other hand, is written in an accessible, easy to use format, with an extensive and helpful index of subjects.

Ferber’s book contains 365 one page essays representing a full year of topics containing advice, reflections, and suggestions for women to consider during a divorce, not merely as a way to survive the experience, but as a way to emerge on the other side stronger and better and looking forward to a life filled with wonderful possibilities. That is the definitive goal of Ferber’s book – to empower women with the knowledge that they can indeed have an “exceptional life” after divorce.

According to Ferber, it is important for women to understand that the dissolution of a marriage is a process rather than an event, so that over time, they can learn ways to effectively cope with and manage the many painful and difficult life changes that they will experience when undergoing a divorce. Utilizing the philosophy of the twelve step programs, Ferber believes that women can heal from a divorce one day at a time. She recommends that the reader consult the book every day and read just one page, and in this way absorb and reflect on a manageable amount of information.

Each day in the book covers one particular issue that a woman will face during the course of her divorce, although not all topics will be relevant to every reader. The reader may choose to consult the index of subjects to reference various portions of the book or simply skip over the essays that do not concern them. There are also additional resources for divorce (websites, books, and videos) included at the end of the book.

Each essay concludes with an affirmation and a gentle suggestion for the reader to take a certain action that begins with, “Today I will…” This mantra enables readers to stay focused on the task at hand by offering one small but positive step that can be taken on the journey through divorce. The message might be as basic as “Today I will trust my judgment” or it might be a more powerful suggestion such as “Today I will fantasize about who I want to be, the life I want, and the life I can create for myself.”

Ferber’s advice is both practical in a nuts and bolts kind of way, and it is also psychologically enlightening in a way that validates the emotions a woman feels about herself and her life during the divorce process. Her recommendations enable women to accept the changes that divorce brings and to grow as a result of those changes. In this way, one day at a time, women can slowly heal from divorce and move on with their lives.

From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life™is a valuable resource that family law attorneys, therapists, social workers and advocates should recommend as an indispensable guide to any woman who is embarking on her journey through divorce. The book is available on Amazon.com and in many local bookstores.

* Reprinted with permission from:

CONNECTICUT MUSE
Patricia F. D’Ascoli, Publisher
4 Autumn Lane
New Milford, CT 06776
860-354-6488 (Phone)
860-355-7361 (Fax)
www.connecticutmuse.com
ISSN #1556-746X

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A Review of Donna's Book...